I Can Quit Anytime I Want
This is what I always told myself about my coffee addiction, but in reality, giving up caffeine was much harder than I thought – here, I explore the powerful truth about quitting coffee.
As drugs go, it seemed both harmless and useful… as well as delicious. Is coffee a drug, I hear you ponder? Let’s not mince words – caffeine is the most popular psychoactive substance in the world. The benefits of drinking it were increased sharpness and mental acuity, while the downsides were urinating to excess and dehydration. The truth is, I didn’t even see caffeine as a drug anymore, so much had it become part of my daily life as a freelance writer…
But there is, it turns out, too much of a good thing. Although I loved good coffee, my caffeine intake wasn’t even that selective any more, and at my coffee peak I was drinking good coffee when I could, but also instant coffee when I thought I needed a pick-me-up, as well as cups of tea throughout the day, and a few coke zeros. I was no longer discerning, just desperate. My body was half-human and half caffeinated liquids – a flimsy, watery thing held together by adrenaline and strength of will.
Inspired by a Huberman Lab podcast, and the advice he gives to not consume caffeine first thing in the morning, I started to think more carefully about my caffeine problem. I had always struggled to sleep, and this had been getting worse. My sleep routine saw me dependent on podcasts or white noise to fall asleep and involved waking up in the night, as well as earlier than I wanted to each morning. I was tired all the time and my solution on the worst of these bleary-eyed mornings? A delicious espresso, of course.
Does reducing caffeine lead to increased sleep?
So, I reached a decision - I would move away from caffeine, as well as take Huberman’s advice when it came to sleep health. I would expose myself to daylight on first waking, without first checking my phone; without getting into an addictive loop, without doing anything, in fact. If weather permitted, I would also expose myself to direct sunlight every morning, to help regulate my circadian rhythm.
So, just like that, I put my Bialetti Moka Express away for the first time in a long time, and, spoiler alert, may have accidentally stumbled on a cure for insomnia.
Day 1 arrived - I was through the looking glass. What I noticed almost immediately on that first day was just how drowsy I felt, not just in the morning but all day long. Was this my body rebalancing following withdrawal from my favourite drug, or did I used to feel this way all the time?
I did light work and exercise in the morning and following that my limp, caffeine-free body seemed to be crying out for a nap. Somehow, I didn’t fear that I would struggle to sleep that night either – the drowsiness never left me. I did some more relaxed work in the evening, and went to bed around 9, sleeping like a baby.
What really appealed to me, as well as the sleep I was rediscovering, was the reduction in anxiety I was experiencing. Hand in hand with this newfound drowsiness was a feeling of being happier, and more content to do less intensive work, with less drive towards being productive every second of the day.
On the second day, I woke up having slept fantastically again. I seemed to have reclaimed a sleepiness that I remembered from years before, like an old childhood friend. I always assumed waking early was part of my DNA, rather than being linked to a two-decade-long caffeine habit. I remember in my teens, with nothing much to do, just being able to sleep and sleep, gloriously, until 11 am. These days I was lucky to sleep past 7 am. Without caffeine, this had changed, and I was luxuriating in it. My body seemed to be soaking up sleep like water, after a decade-long drought. We now live in a world where insomnia coaches exist - was the cure just to give up caffeine all along?
Can reducing my coffee peak cure insomnia?
Following this discovery, I was curious to dig deeper into the science. I was aware that what made us motivated each day was a combination of hormones like dopamine, testosterone, and cortisol – in essence, testosterone makes achievement feel good, and cortisol and dopamine give us the base-level motivation to get up and go. Cortisol peaks in the morning and (in theory) reduces throughout the day towards bedtime. It’s part of the reason why, under pressure, we feel focussed – cortisol spikes when we need it and gives us a narrow focus on the task at hand.
So where does caffeine fit in? Studies suggest that it raises testosterone, cortisol and adrenaline and that caffeine temporarily increases testosterone and cortisol. This would account for the increased feeling of get-up-and-go when caffeinated, as well as increased anxiety. Caffeine also increases adrenaline by 33%, which, like cortisol, is another hormone produced by the adrenal glands that is linked to motivation and stress. These effects also make coffee addictive, triggering a dopamine response in the brain that leads to cravings.
In truth, I didn’t even realise how anxious I had become until the feeling went away. I’d experienced it for so long that it had become normalised. Without caffeine, I was floating through the days in a kind of dream state, and it felt so refreshing. But was I too relaxed to get anything done?
Does quitting caffeine make you less productive?
When I reached day ten, I felt happy that I’d fallen into a positive daily routine without relying on caffeine as a crutch. What I found was that I was lacking a little oomph in the mornings. I felt good, but I still needed some drive and structure to my day. With some trepidation, I decided to slowly reintroduce a little caffeine into my life.
There was a balance to be found – I needed some of those chemical changes to feel motivated and driven, but not so much that it defined my whole day and induced stress. My morning habits, now inspired by Huberman Lab, included exercise, a period of intensive work, and then one coffee (a good coffee!) at around mid-morning. I felt the effects of this new caffeine injection deeply but left enough time for it to leave my system before the evening. The half-life of coffee is 5 hours, meaning it should leave your system completely in 10 hours. In theory, it should be gone before my bedtime at around 11 pm. I’m not saying this is a universal cure for insomnia, but for me, it was having a huge impact on sleep.
With caffeine back in my life, I was determined not to let myself slip back towards the same addictive cycle that I had in my coffee peak. Although I didn’t give up coffee entirely, I did redefine my relationship with it and felt happier for doing so.
Is caffeine actually addictive?
In modern life it’s so easy to sleepwalk into addictive behaviour – social media, gaming, alcohol, coffee – they’re all primed and waiting to tempt us, eliciting a powerful dopamine response in the brain. They can all be addictive if you let yourself become dependent on them to get through the day.
Like many aspects of productivity and freelance writing, I have found that the key is staying busy. If you have a goal that you’re truly committed to, there shouldn’t be any slack in your day to let additive behaviour creep in. Whenever I feel that my impulse control is low and I’m tempted by something – be it coffee, alcohol, or just aimless browsing on Reddit - I remind myself of the article I’m working towards and get back to it. When I’m too tired to do that, I go to sleep. There is no room within that for mindless, addictive behaviours, other than the one coffee that I have in the morning… which I drink with delicious intent.
How’s your relationship with coffee lately? I’d love to hear whether you’ve also been a victim of this low-key addiction. If you liked this post, check out some others below on productivity and writing.
